go out and spend $30 for a blow job
and she goes ballistic.
donít understand that woman !
Why do they
call the mid section of a woman a waist?
could have put two more breast in there
An airliner was taking off from Kennedy Airport. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom, "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight 293, nonstop from New York to Los Angeles. The weather ahead is good and we should have a smooth and uneventful flight. Now sit back and relax and... OH MY GOD!".... Silence followed. Then after a few seconds, the captain came back on the intercom and said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I frightened you earlier, but while I was talking to you, the flight-attendant brought me a cup of hot coffee and spilled it in my lap. He chuckled and said, "You should see the front of my pants!" A passenger in coach yelled loudly, "That's nothing. You should see the back of mine!"
~~~~~~~~~~ A man boarded an airplane in New Orleans with a box of frozen crab. A female crew member took the box and promised to put it in the crew's refrigerator, which she did. The man firmly advised her that he was holding her personally responsible for the crabs staying frozen, and proceeded to rant at her about what would happen if she let them thaw out. She was annoyed by his behavior. Shortly before landing in New York, she announced over the intercom to the entire cabin, 'Would the gentleman who gave me the crabs in New Orleans, please raise your hand?' Not one hand went up. So she took them home and ate them herself. ~~~~~~~~~~
Fifty-one years ago, Herman James, a
was drafted by the Army.
On his first day in basic training,
the Army issued him a comb.
That afternoon the Army barber sheared off all his
On his second day, the Army issued
Herman a toothbrush.
That afternoon the Army dentist yanked seven of his teeth.
On the third day, the Army issued
him a jock strap.
The Army has been looking for Herman for 51 years.
Little Johnny attended a horse
auction with his father.
He watched as his father moved from horse to horse,
running his hands up and down the horse's legs, rump, and chest.
After a few minutes, Johnny asked,
"Dad, why are you doing that?"
His father replied, "Because
when I'm buying horses,
I have to make sure that they are healthy
and in good
shape before I buy.
Johnny, looking very worried, said,
"Dad, I think the UPS guy wants to buy Mom"
I don't know about that new golf
pro," said Dave. "He may be a little strange."
"Why do you think that?"
"He just tried to correct my
"So?" said Clyde. "He's just trying to help your game."
"Yeah, I know," said Dave,
"but I was standing at the urinal."
Thank you for your recent order from
our sex toy shop.
You asked for the large red vibrator
as featured on our wall display.
Please select another item as that
is our fire extinguisher.